


Undying Love

by Kara_Writes (Nunchi_Writes)



Series: Kara's One Shots [1]
Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: F/M, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-21 18:00:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17047952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nunchi_Writes/pseuds/Kara_Writes
Summary: You spend your days looking over your over-worked husband, Jongin, and your young daughter, Alice.





	Undying Love

 

    “6… 7… 8… 9… 10! Ready or not, here I come!” Alice, your six-year-old daughter, shouts.

    You’ve expertly placed yourself inside a cabinet, and it’s hard not to chuckle when she walks right past it. You didn’t make it too hard, all she needs to do is open the door, and she’ll see your face immediately.

    “Come out come out wherever you are!” she giggles out, spinning in a quick circle looking for you.

    You decide to give her a hint by replying “No!”

    She laughs even louder, and you smile at the reaction. She walks near you, then begins to open the cabinet right next to you. She moves on to yours, and squeals when you jump out at her.

    “You found me!” you cheer.

    “I did! I did!” she cheers back. You want nothing more than to pick her up and swing her around, blowing raspberries on her little chubby tummy, but you can’t. You’ll never be able to.

    “What is all the laughing in here?” questions your husband, Jongin, smiling.

    “I’m playing hide-and-seek!” Alice responds. She runs up to her father and hugs his legs tightly. “Do you want to play too?”

    He laughs endearingly, “I wish I could, princess, but I still have work to do,” he exaggerates his frown, then picks her up.

    “Oh, okay. When you’re done can you?”

    “I was thinking about bringing a certain little girl to the ice cream shop when I’m done…”

    Alice instantly gasps, excitement invading every part of her face, “The good ice cream shop? With the blue roof?”

    Jongin chuckles with you, “Yes, that one, but only if you finish your work!”

    “Okay! I love you!” She presses a kiss on his cheek with an exaggerated sound, and he sets her down. She runs off to the dinner table where her school work is scattered on top of it.

    Jongin releases a deep sigh. You can see the dark circles under his eyes; he’s exhausted and stressed. It takes a lot to homeschool a child, but he doesn’t really have a choice. Neither of you trust the schools in this area, so he took matters into his own hands. He also works full time to support her. You imagine you’d be pretty stressed too, if you weren’t a ghost.

    Nearly seven years ago, you found out you were pregnant with Alice, and Jongin got promoted earlier that week, so the two of you were ecstatic. You worked very hard to baby proof the house while you were pregnant, figuring the two of you would be too busy and tired to do thorough job after she’s born. You’re glad you did it together ahead of time. 

    It was late at night when your water broke. You were watching a funny film, snuggling with Jongin on the couch. He started freaking out, hilariously so. You remember clearly how you laughed at his over-the-top reaction to every single thing you did. When you finally got to the hospital and in that bed, he still didn’t calm down, but he wasn’t outwardly panicking like before.

    You could feel yourself getting weaker and weaker as the time passed, and somewhere in your mind you what it meant. You died during while giving birth to her. You spent your last moments holding your tiny Alice and listening to doctors as they passed the unpleasant news to Jongin, before slipping into the eternal sleep.

    Or so you thought.

    You woke a few minutes later, feeling a bit chilly and very confused. Your dear Jongin was weeping and sobbing over you. You suddenly felt stronger again, and moved to place your hand on your husbands face, but it passed right through him. Even though he was staring right at your face, he never reacted to your movements.

    They took your baby and let your sobbing husband hold her. You could barely make out his “I love you”s and “Don’t go”s through his messy, loud crying. The doctors lead him out into the hallway, and you shakily got up and followed him. Looking back on your way out, you saw your lifeless body, and that when it all truly clicked in your head that you were dead.

    You eventually figured out that as long that as long as you stick close to Jongin or Alice, your memories remain intact. You once made the mistake of waiting outside of a bathroom while waiting for your husband to come out. Little did you know, he went in there to cry in peace, so it took him nearly an hour to recover. In that time frame, you almost forgot everything. The only thing on your mind at that point was “Where’s my husband and child?” You couldn’t even remember their names or faces, but it all came rushing back when a puffy-eyed Jongin, holding a quiet baby Alice, came out of the restroom. You vowed to never leave their sides from that moment on.

    The first year was the hardest for him, figuring out how to raise a child for the first time, along with working out the rhythm for his new job, all of this with the grief of your death. You discovered you could help in little ways, though. Alice always seemed calmer when you were around, and it was always easy for you to make her happy when she was crying during the night. You also figured out that if you use enough energy, you can move certain things around a bit, so you would often spin the mobile on her crib. Plus, in order to regain your energy, you need to take it from an actual living creature, so you always made the baby tired when you did this.

    You expected your influence in her life to deteriorate as she grew older, yet it did the exact opposite. When she was a baby, she barely acknowledged your existence, but as she learned how to talk and walk, she began interacting with you directly. She would try to hold conversations with you and would occasionally make grabby hands at you, wanting to be picked up. Once she learned how to properly turn pages, she would always listen closely as you read her books in her tiny beanbag.

    You helped teach Alice how to talk and read, and you’re the first person she goes to when she wants to play a game, seeing as she’s a very shy little girl with only a few friends. You also help immensely with her schooling, as well. Jongin has caught Alice speaking to you and playing with you countless of times at this point. He’d even occasionally watch at a distance as you helped her with school work, but he always dismisses it as “a lonely child’s imagination,” as he called it to one of his friends.

    You’re worried about your husband. You spend most of your time following your daughter and making sure she stays out of trouble. Although, in the times that you’ve followed Jongin to work while Alice was at a daycare, you’ve come to notice a few things. The first thing being that he dropped most of his old friends, where he had easily over twenty before, he only talks to barely three people now. The second thing being that he is always working, which is understandable at the rate of pay he gets, and the cost of bills and supplies for Alice and himself. The last major thing is that he hasn’t tried dating again.

    As nice as it feels to know that Jongin is loyal to only you, even after your death, you can tell he’s very lonely. It would be painful to watch him have another woman in his arms, but you could grow used to it, as long as she’s nice and he’s happy with her. You feel like you could get used to anything that gives him happiness at this point, besides drugs, alcohol, or anything else of the sort.

    “I need help!” Alice disrupts your wandering thoughts.

    “What do you need help with?” you glide over to the table, slightly hovering over the ground.

    “Math! It’s too hard!” She crosses her arms and pouts.

    After one look at the addition with two-digit numbers, you realize that Jongin probably didn’t give her clear instructions again. It’s not his fault, he’s in the middle of a work day, so he doesn’t have much time to spare. He does what he can with the bits of time he makes for her, but you’re still glad she can see and hear you, unlike every other person on this planet. She’d be very behind without your help.

    “Okay, so, you stack the numbers on top of each other. Ones over the ones and tens over tens.” She places them exactly how you said, “Good, like that, now you-”

    “Did I hear you yell something, Alice?” Jongin’s voice interrupts you. You still find yourself smiling fondly at his presence, even if he did cut you off and is causing a distraction.

    “Yeah, I needed help, but not anymore!” She looks very proud.

    “Oh really? Did you figure it out?” he asks while rustling her hair a bit. He leans over the girl’s left side, while you remain on her right.

    “Not yet, but mama’s teaching me!” beams Alice.

    Jongin doesn’t share her enthusiasm anymore, though. His face drops into a frown and looks down. “Princess, mama’s… Mama isn’t here anymore. You’ve never met her.” He looks and sounds like he’s about to cry. You really don’t want that, but you can’t do anything to stop it.

    “Yes I have!” confusion fills the young girl’s tone.

    “No. Alice-”

    “No! She’s right here! She’s always right here and you always ignore her! Do you hate her?” she cries out.

    “Alice.” you growl a warning, but it’s too late. The damage has been done, you can see the grief and anger swirling in his eyes. “That’s enough. I’m invisible to him. I know I’ve told you this. Now apologize and give him a big hug.”

    She whips her head to you, obviously upset. “Why?”

    “Because you hurt his feelings!” you respond at the same time as Jongin questions “What?”

    “Go ahead and apologize.” you order a final time.

    “Why what, Alice?” the man in question asks once more.

    “She says I have to say sorry.” Alice pouts, then gives a half-hearted hug to the very confused man.

    “Who did? What…?”

    “Mama did! She said I hurt your feelings!” she replies exasperatedly.

    “Alice, please stop mentioning me. He can’t hear me or see me, and he misses me very much, so he’s going to get very sad every time you talk about me.” You’re aware that it’s nearly impossible to negotiate with a child, especially this one, but you still have to try.

    Before Alice can do or say anything to you, Jongin tentatively asks, “…Where’s mama right now?”

    Your little girl lights up and a large grin spreads across her face once she realizes she’s getting her way. “She’s right here! She says she’s invisible!” She points to your face, her fingertip passing through your chin, but you don’t mind. You’re too busy focusing on his reaction to this information.

    He looks directly at you– well, through you, but his gaze is closer to your face than it ever has been since you’ve died. If you don’t count the times you moved to stand directly where his stares rested on a computer or television screen, or papers, that is.

    “Right here?” he pats the section on the table directly in front of you. You don’t look away from his tired, unbelieving eyes. He’s playing along just for Alice’s sake, unknowingly melting you into a puddle in the meantime.

    “Yup! Right here!” She shoves her hand in your face, you gently swat at it out of habit. Your hand goes through hers, as expected.

    Jongin somehow looks directly in your eyes as he calls out, “Y/n?”

    “Yea? I’m here.” you respond quietly, fully knowing that he can’t hear you, or feel where you placed your hand on his, or see the large, closed-mouth smile that invaded your face.

    The little girl sitting between you two is looking at you both expectantly, waiting for something-  _anything_  to happen. It doesn’t, though. He simply looks through you still, then shifts his gaze back to Alice.

    “What did she say?” he asks, feigning curiosity. You can see right through it, and it’s almost painful to see after being somewhat under his curious gaze just moments ago. Unfortunately, your daughter can not see through the act.

    “She said she’s right there.” she deadpans, as if it should be obvious.

    “Okay,” you begin, not able to take this strange atmosphere any longer, “we need to get working on your math again, unless you  _didn’t_  want that ice cream…”

    “Oh Yeah! Ice Cream! I forgot! Are we still gonna go get ice cream after I finish?”

    “Of course,” Jongin assures the worried child while chuckling uneasily, “What made you think of ice cream?”

    “Mama said I needed to finish math or I don’t get any!”

    “I didn’t say that, and please stop talking about me.” you plead. You’re afraid that he’ll put Alice in some kind of mental hospital if she keeps this up.

    “Why? He knows you’re there!”

    “Alice.” you warn once more, “I won’t help you with your work if you don-”

    “Is she actually right there?” Jongin doesn’t look very concerned anymore, and doesn’t seem to be faking his curiosity either.

    She groans out “Yes. I already told you! Right here!” She waves her hand into your face again. You only move over a bit in reaction to it, this time.

    He looks back to your direction, but this time you can tell it’s out of his own curiosity and not for the sake of your daughter. He seems conflicted, you assume he’s arguing about whether to believe her or just move on with his day and dismiss it as “a lonely child’s imagination” again. He makes it obvious that he chose the former with his next words.

    “Y/n? If you’re actually there… Can you do something? Let me know I’m not crazy for actually giving this a chance? For having hope?”

    “Give what a chance? Have hope of what? Dad..?” Alice’s voice drifts into the back of your mind as your try to find something to show him.

    He’s actually giving this a chance, giving  _you_  a chance. The skeptical yet hopeful look in his eyes says it all. You look around the table and spot the hexagonal pencil your daughter abandoned once this discussion started. That wouldn’t roll on it own, but it’s definitely easy for you to push; you’ve done it countless of times before as practice. You gather energy from Alice, who is rapidly asking questions to your unresponding husband, and flick the pencil across the table.

    He nearly jumps out of his seat at the movement, too big of a reaction for a simple pencil being pushed. Although, you suppose he hadn’t  _really_  been expecting anything to happen, so that simple movement was enough to surprise him. It looks like his eyes are about to fall out of his head with how wide they are, as well, and you can’t blame him. The shock and hope floods his tone as he practically whimpers his next sentence.

    “Y/n? Jagi, is that really you?”

    Alice starts talking again, but neither of you are paying any real attention to her right now. She’s had her moment, now it’s time for yours. You gather energy again, this time from Jongin, so he can feel you slightly depleting his energy, so he has more proof that this is real. You carefully move a piece of paper that has your daughter’s answers to a worksheet with yes-or-no questions across the messy table to where he’s sitting. You then move another pencil ever-so-delicately so it points to one of the many “yes” answers on the sheet. You look up, only minorly fatigued from moving the light objects, and his reaction surprises you.

    He is silently crying. It isn’t from sadness, judging by the way the corners of his lips are lightly quirked up, but you weren’t expecting tears of any kind.

    “Jagi…” his voice wavers on the two syllables.

    Without much thought, you lean forward through Alice, who complains loudly about it, and place a quick kiss where your lips would have met his if you could touch each other just before he turns his attention to the young girl. He stops mid-movement, however, and his glossy eyes become wide again and he sits up straighter in shock. You look at him in confusion, having a good idea, but not knowing for sure, what happened.

    “Whatever you just did, can you do it again?” his voice is still shaking from the tears that haven’t ceased. Although, his tone is light and shows that he is surprised in a pleasant way.

    You’re quick to lean in again, giving him one more longer kiss to his lips. Alice screeches “Ew” while running out of the room, finally giving you some quiet and privacy. When you finally lean back and allow your eyes to flutter open, he still has his eyes gently closed and lips barely pursed. Tears are still traveling down his cheeks, and you wonder if he would be able to feel your kisses there as well. You’ve never tried kissing him since being dead, so you didn’t know he’d be able to feel it at all. There’s only one way to find out.

    You place one quick kiss high on his left cheek bone, then on the right one. A proper smile invades his face, along with a light chuckle.

    “I can feel that too.” he laughs through his slowing tears, eyes still gently closed. “I love you.”

    “I love you too.” you sigh contentedly, your face still close to his.

    He gasps, eyes flying open suddenly. You can visibly see the way his breath hitches and notice how his jaw drops. You back away from him enough to glance around quickly, looking for what caused that reaction. Maybe Alice did something in another room and you missed the noise because you were so lost in that moment. You look back to your husband in confusion when he doesn’t move. That’s when you notice it.

    He’s looking directly  _at_  you, not through you.

    “Y/n…” he breathes out. His tears are falling faster again.

    “Jongin…?” you copy his tone. You’re feeling tears behind your own eyes, now.

    He finally closes his mouth, then moves his hands to your face, cupping your cheeks as best as he can without being able to actually touch you. You wish you could nuzzle into his warm hands without phasing through him. Although, it’s a miracle that he can  _see_  you, so you aren’t complaining too much. He moves his face near yours again, not stopping until his forehead is going though yours. You adjust so it isn’t, and he moves his hands down to the new location of your jaw. You watch his adam’s apple as he swallows harshly, then clears his throat so he can speak properly.

    “It’s really you…” you barely hear him with how quietly he said this.

    “It’s really me…”

    He closes his eyes once more, and moves forward. The movement would be unnoticeable if you weren’t paying close attention, so it’s a good thing you were. You close last little space left, and he sighs happily in response.

    Maybe the three of you can finally be a happy, complete family again.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Find me and Nunchi on Tumblr too [@nunchiwrites](https://nunchiwrites.tumblr.com)!!


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